Monty Panesar was a genuinely brilliant spin bowler — a proper, old-fashioned left-arm orthodox spinner who could turn the ball sharply and deceive the best batsmen in the world. But his fielding was so magnificently bad that it became a comedy act in its own right, a slapstick routine that played out on cricket fields across the globe for the better part of a decade. The sight of a ball heading towards Panesar in the field would send England supporters into a state of nervous dread and opposing fans into fits of anticipatory laughter.
His dropped catches were legendary — he once managed to get two hands to a simple chance and somehow lobbed it over his own head, a feat of physics so improbable that scientists should have been consulted. Another time, a gentle catch came to him at mid-on, and he attempted a technique that could best be described as "juggling while panicking." The ball bounced between his hands, off his chest, back onto his hands, and then dribbled apologetically to the ground while Panesar wore the expression of a man who had just been personally betrayed by gravity.
His attempts at ground fielding resembled a man trying to catch a greased piglet. He would chase the ball to the boundary with the enthusiasm of a puppy but the coordination of a newborn giraffe. His throwing was equally entertaining — the ball would leave his hand and travel in directions that seemed to have been chosen by random number generator rather than any discernible cricketing logic.
The crowning moment came when he was placed on the boundary in a Test match and a simple catch came his way. The entire ground held its breath. Panesar got under it, cupped his hands... and somehow managed to parry it over the boundary rope for six. The batsman, who should have been out, received six bonus runs instead. The collective groan from the England dressing room was audible from space. Panesar's face showed the bewildered confusion of a man who had no idea how this kept happening.
Despite all this, Panesar was beloved by fans — the "Monty Panesar Fan Club" would dress in fake beards and turbans and cheer his every fielding attempt as if he'd just taken the catch of the century. When he actually held onto one, the celebrations exceeded those normally reserved for Ashes-winning moments.