During the 2010-11 Ashes in Australia, Mitchell Johnson was struggling badly with his bowling. His line and length were all over the place — he was spraying the ball left and right with the accuracy of a garden hose operated by a labrador — and the English supporters, the Barmy Army, seized on both his poor form and his distinctive handlebar moustache to create one of cricket's most famous songs.
Sung to the tune of "She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain," the Barmy Army's creation went: "He bowls to the left, he bowls to the right, that Mitchell Johnson, his bowling is shite." The chant was accompanied by enthusiastic moustache-twirling gestures from the English fans, who would stroke imaginary facial hair while singing at full volume. It was cruel, it was funny, and it was everywhere — echoing around Australian grounds with the persistence of a catchy pop song.
Johnson finished the 2010-11 series with poor figures, and the song followed him wherever he went like a melodic stalker. It was played at parties, sung in pubs, and hummed by England fans with the smug satisfaction of supporters whose team was winning the Ashes in Australia.
But cricket's karma intervened spectacularly in 2013-14, when Johnson returned to the Ashes with the same moustache but completely different bowling. He terrorized England with pace and hostility that bordered on grievous bodily harm, taking 37 wickets in the series as Australia won 5-0. The Barmy Army tried singing the song again at the Gabba but quickly went silent as Johnson bowled England batsmen out for fun. The moustache-twirling gestures became considerably less enthusiastic when the moustache's owner was bowling at 95mph and hitting people. The moustache had the last laugh.